Discuss growth. And by growth, I mean tumors. Use phrases such as "dead tissue" and "eating me alive" for extra oomph. We <3 (literally) damaged chicks!!
Remind them of that time you were bald. Visuals are huge.
Discuss death, emotional disconnect with loved ones, and general notions of despair. This is particularly effectively if you manage to tie in your melancholy to everyday items, like what you had for dinner or vacation preferences.
Important theme: morbidity. you know what's hot? morbidity.
If you can, provide a play-by-play of your reaction the last time you got chemo.
Casually mention that you've had to carry around a card for being radioactive.
Outwardly muse that you feel you may actually *be* radioactive and/or toxic. Guys are totally into danger.
Suggest a day trip to your chemo ward next time they're in NY. (points if you offer to introduce them to your oncologist, who you think is a total bro)
Go into detail about the various scars/radiation markings you have covering your body. you know what really gets a guy going? scar tissue, baby. all about .. scar tissue.
Show them the wig. Or better, have it sticking out of a drawer in clear view. If they ask, say "you don't want to know"
Mention that time you had trouble eating and/or swallowing and offer him a nutritional shake of your choosing. (Hospitality is key.)
Assert your superiority via your sobriety. you know what's cool? not. drinking.
Elaborate on the (dys)functioning of your internal organs! Particularly if it's at all connected to the digestive track. mhm, bowels.
Elicit opinion on future treatment plans, with particular focus on side effects such as kidney failure or DEATH! People like to express their opinions.
When he asks what you're up to this weekend, say a PET scan. (Blood tests are total overshare.)
Lament that no one understands you. Allow them to make empathetic comment. Then, sigh loudly.
Brag about your recent Hemoglobin level. Maybe even platelets. Mention your ANC though and you're just an asshole.
Remind them of that time you were bald. Visuals are huge.
Discuss death, emotional disconnect with loved ones, and general notions of despair. This is particularly effectively if you manage to tie in your melancholy to everyday items, like what you had for dinner or vacation preferences.
Important theme: morbidity. you know what's hot? morbidity.
If you can, provide a play-by-play of your reaction the last time you got chemo.
Casually mention that you've had to carry around a card for being radioactive.
Outwardly muse that you feel you may actually *be* radioactive and/or toxic. Guys are totally into danger.
Suggest a day trip to your chemo ward next time they're in NY. (points if you offer to introduce them to your oncologist, who you think is a total bro)
Go into detail about the various scars/radiation markings you have covering your body. you know what really gets a guy going? scar tissue, baby. all about .. scar tissue.
Show them the wig. Or better, have it sticking out of a drawer in clear view. If they ask, say "you don't want to know"
Mention that time you had trouble eating and/or swallowing and offer him a nutritional shake of your choosing. (Hospitality is key.)
Assert your superiority via your sobriety. you know what's cool? not. drinking.
Elaborate on the (dys)functioning of your internal organs! Particularly if it's at all connected to the digestive track. mhm, bowels.
Elicit opinion on future treatment plans, with particular focus on side effects such as kidney failure or DEATH! People like to express their opinions.
When he asks what you're up to this weekend, say a PET scan. (Blood tests are total overshare.)
Lament that no one understands you. Allow them to make empathetic comment. Then, sigh loudly.
Brag about your recent Hemoglobin level. Maybe even platelets. Mention your ANC though and you're just an asshole.
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